Trace Lysette (Transparent, Hustlers) plays Monica, a trans woman who returns home to help her ailing mother in Andrea Pallaoro’s new film premiering on May 12th. Lysette received an 11-minute standing ovation for her performance. I want to discuss the importance of this film and why it deserves more attention, especially while anti-trans rhetoric is currently running rampant. Let’s call this a pre-screening review and I will be sure to update and share my thoughts once it’s released.
Stories about returning home are fairly common in film, however the majority of these stories deal with familiar archetypes and characters that don’t fall outside the norm. People return home due to financial difficulties or loved ones passing away. These types of experiences are so frequent that for most people they can feel commonplace. However, there can be a much deeper layer to them when examining them from a transgender perspective. In Monica’s case coming home means returning to a place where she was once rejected, and re-entering this home authentically in spite of rejection.
At the time Monica returns home to Ohio her mother is suffering from a brain tumor. Her condition, and the fact that Monica transitioned after becoming estranged, tragically, leaves her mother unable to recognize her. This sets up a very familiar scenario for someone who is trans to experience, which inspired director Andrea Pallaoro after learning of his friend’s experience that in many ways mirrors Monica’s.
Someone suffering from a brain tumor, (or other medical problems that can lead to memory loss like dementia) can be deeply scarring for those being forgotten. When my step-father passed away last year (due to brain cancer as well), it was difficult to express how I felt. I was filled with grief and regret, as I wished he could have known me longer as who I am now, and not who I was as a child. While he was going through treatment and eventually end of life care for his cancer, I’m not sure how lucid he was at any given time. Even though there was so much that I wanted him to understand about me, beneath the surface there was a familiarity between us. When Monica massages her mother’s shoulders or helps her apply lipstick, I wonder if that familiarity will be recognized between them as well.
28% LGBTQ youth face homelessness and housing instability, mostly because of mistreatment or fear of mistreatment because of their identities. Parents either kick their children out or they run away before matters potentially get worse. Monica uses this very common occurrence to illustrate a story where, fittingly, the parent who casts their child out is now desperately in need of their help. I thought the story including that she’s empathetic to her mother’s suffering shows that family breakdowns based on politics or belief can often be overcome once the true humanity of the situation becomes evident.
So much hate has been targeted at the transgender community with this hate continuing to grow across the country. Trans people’s existence is being threatened with laws being proposed, (and in many cases passed) to take away autonomy over our own bodies, our right to use public restrooms, and even our ability to use public spaces. All we’ve been asking for is freedom, bodily-autonomy, and some god-damned empathy. We are people, and even despite the hate that is thrown at us we try our hardest to be as kind and compassionate toward everyone else. In a world that is trying to eradicate us we try to remain empathetic to everyone else’s struggles, even when it’s not reciprocated.
Empathy and solidarity is what the transgender community needs right now. We need stories like Monica that show we are humans who have to deal with the same struggles everyone else faces, on top of being trans. We’re all just trying to get by, and that means sometimes dealing with fucked up familial drama. We need these stories showing how these experiences have a profound effect on us. Our lives are not easy, and they’re getting harder for many trans people. Please go and see Monica. If you’re trans, cis, an ally, or a mother, take some time to experience what I think will be an incredibly poignant film starring an extremely talented woman. I’m looking forward to watching it with my mom this Mother’s Day.