I have often felt uncomfortable with “passing”, the concept in which trans women are compared to cis women based on how well we’re able to blend in. What it means to pass is instantly problematic because it makes an assumption of what it means to act and look like a cis woman despite there being no universal way to behave. I didn’t fully understand the problem with passing until recently, however the discomfort and dislike for it came about when I met with a feminization coach in 2015.
This piece really spoke to me. I've been at those same places.